Answers

...on my finding journey...for the saying is 'seek and ye shall find' 

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no, we were not given training or even a manual, and no one ever warned us of what to expect - except as a deep sigh comment 'you will realize it when you have one on your own' or 'time will teach and tell'

as parents, we give, give, and give some more, and we continue giving because what we receive in return is so much of pure love-adoration with extended hugs and kisses and 'you're the best in the world' statements.

• our brains are lazy - it starts expecting the things, the feelings, the experiences - to stay or change only to be enhanced - we stop thinking.

this changes with kids as they grow - literally in a blink of an eye - at a time of tiredness, a time of hunger, a time of any type of stress - and the parents get shut out, yelled at with extended silence or angry words, without even a look in the eye, and 'i hate you' statements.

• our brains are lazy - there are no exceptions - except for those who train our minds to pause, think, analyze, and then act. Act is also important, it's always better to restate our understanding of the situation or a question to make sure our response is to the right question or scenario.

when a new experience comes along, we often forget to realize it's a new feeling or experience and try to boggle our minds looking for a previous scenario to pull from and react.

• the most famous, stop and think before you act, and we should act and not react - all these wisdom as old as time - all get forgotten. 

the saying is, look to nature and you shall find all the answers there, or look within and you shall find the answers there as well.

so dear parents, look to birds and animals, the nature, that kick out the babies as soon as they begin flying or walking so they learn to be on their own and survive - survival is still the biggest thing there is for them. for birds and animals, their lives are not as long, each stage of life is not long at all - the babies sometimes start walking the same day they are born. 

yes, we are looking to nature - not to copy but to understand and take lessons. so, don't kick out our kids like birds and animals do - always provide food for their body and mind and shelter - as needed

• and another saying that is almost always playing the consolation role is - expectations hurt, stop expecting, keep giving, and stay true to oneself - okay so that's a combo of few sayings...but together, consolation role is well played.

when expectations go wrong, pause, think, and analyze. remember that we want our kids, as young as 11 or 21, or as old as 31, to not just survive, but thrive physically but more importantly, mentally.

• they are going to make mistakes, they are going to sometimes say and act mean, but they are learning to thrive mentally. give them space, give them time and space. the time and space will let them reflect upon their actions, find solutions to their problems.

but dear parents, what we must remember the most and always is never to shut ourselves off from being there when our kids - as young as 11 or 21, or as old as 31 or 61, come to us for consolation, solution, advice, or food and shelter. share your wisdom, tell them how brains work, tell them about the timeline of life, and remind them of mortality and the footprints they want to leave behind.

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my dear parents, i love you, and amma, you are the 'bestest' in the world.